Today is the 2 year anniversary of Tyler's death. Somehow it seems like it was just yesterday that we felt the tragedy of his death and I still feel so many of those same emotions today. And yet, it also seems like it has been a life time since I have gotten to see him.
As I have been working to get Matt and my new house all decorated and feeling like home I have been going through and trying to replace some of my old pictures with new ones. New ones from our wedding and from our lives together so far instead of just pictures of me and my life before we met. As I was doing that I began to look around the house and realized that if I replaced too many pictures with new ones that there would no longer be any pictures of Tyler around. I love pictures. I love taking them and love having them printed and finding the perfect frame for them and the perfect place in the house for them. But I don't want to replace the pictures of Ty. I don't want them to be lost somewhere in a box of other pictures. I don't want new people that I meet to never see pictures of him. I wish I could take more. I wish he were here for me to catch that great smile on camera. I wish he were here to jump in every picture just to make people laugh. I wish he were here to cover Cori's face and try to keep her out of all the pictures, just to tease her.
"How long must I wrestle with my thoughts and every day have sorrow in my heart? I call on your Lord for you will answer me. The Lord is my strong hold and my life--though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear...for in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling. I am still confident of this: I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord." ~Psalms 13, 19, 27
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5 comments:
he did have a way of jumping into pictures, didn't he?! : )
i love it when people come over and ask about the pictures with tyler in them, and i am sure you feel the same way.
praying for you, especially today.
Sarah, I am right there with you. Some of the ideas I have to include him are for example that we could put him in the background of our Christmas picture.... I am serious about it but I think it might be a little much. I have also thought of putting Christmas lights on the tree he hit on the highway. ... Just so there is something of him that I can see to remember the good things.
I'm thinking and praying about you and your family today. :)
It's been ten years now since we have seen Jeremy's brother, whom we love dearly. It's complicated. To keep alive our memory of him there is one family photo I have committed to always leave hanging. It provides lots of occasions to talk about him, *especially* to our children, and to remember him and keep our hope refreshed.
Beautiful pictures of Alaska. There's something about the color of those norther winter skies.... It's very familiar.
Sarah - I couldn't get any of you out of my heart or mind Sunday - especially Tyler. Time is a strange thing. I encourage you to keep as many pictures out as you want or need of Tyler. You have such great photographs of him. You're really very talented.
And Bernita - I love the thought of the lights on the tree at Christmas. It sounds like something Tyler would do.
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