Hungry

Since Tyler's death I have not felt "hungry" for God's word, except when I am down and when I am searching for comfort in His word. But I have not had a desire to just search His word to know Him more. That is, until the last few weeks. As most of you know, Matthew and I miscarried our baby back in late January. Although at the time the grief was not terrible or unbearable, over the last couple of months God has slowly worked in my heart to have a new desire to know Him again because of the pain of this loss. A desire to truly understand and know the powerful and sovereign God that I serve. I had been very content. Happy. Fine. Okay. And lacking desire to be nearer to the God. Thankfully, God did not allow me to stay that way. He does not want me to be luke warm in my faith. He desires that I passionately seek after Him and seek to know Him more. So often I rely on Matthew for my comfort rather than God. I am married to an amazing man. A man who is so compassionate, patient and kind. He is so good at comforting me and loving me that I tend to run to him instead of God. Since the miscarriage happened while Matt was gone, (Matt did get to come home for a few days right afterwards) I have been unable to rely on him as much for my comfort, and in turn God has reminded me that he is my comforter. And, God has renewed my desire to seek him and know his truth just for the sake of knowing him and loving him rather than only for the sake of finding comfort.