03 November 2011

We Are Here


We had out first day of snow on October 26. Ahhh, love it! 
It just makes everything look so perfect and peaceful!

I was recently reading a blog that a friend recommended to me. It is written by a girl who has had five miscarriages. She has several medical issues that seem to be continually causing these miscarriages. It will absolutely be a miracle of God if/when she has a healthy pregnancy. In one of her recent blogs she was talking about being content in the place that you are. It is amazing that no matter how many times I hear this, I am constantly falling short and going back to being discontent and frustrated. Often, I even feel angry. I find that I am angry with God. And angry with the insensitive people around me. I know in my head that no one around me intends to be insensitive. In fact, the people around me are grieving with me and Matthew, and only want to encourage us. And yet, I have my feelings sitting on a 10 foot stick, just waiting for people to knock them off.

Don't get me wrong. I have an abundance to be thankful for! Matt is an amazing husband. I could not ask for anyone better. I have a very loving and supportive family. I have a roof over my head. I have a job that I actually enjoy a lot. I have not gone hungry for a single meal in my entire life. I have clean water to drink anytime I want. I have a wonderful group of friends. So, really, in all reality, this one thing of wanting to be pregnant and have a baby is the only thing that I do not have. Therefore, why I am not just thankful and contect in that?

A reminder of my need for contentment is constantly needed. God has Matthew and me exactly where we need to be. Even though this place that we are in is very difficult to deal with. We are where God intends us to be and going through exactly what God has planned for us. Everything that we are enduring is because God has a purpose in it. He has planned for us to go through this and to experience this. He has planned this for us to prepare us for our future....and whatever that may bring.

2 comments:

Krystal and Brad Cooley said...

Oh sweet Sarah...love you, love your thoughts and you know I know just how you feel. That blog is amazing...I met up with Shayla the other day and she is great...you'd love her! I am going to try to help her with her non-profit Owl Love You Forever.
She gave me this book/devotional called Longing for a Child by Kathe Wunnenberg. I can't stress how much you will love it...and I'm only on the 5th devotion!
I wish I could wrap my arms around you and hug you and to get that hug in return. Know there is a friend who thinks of you often states away over here in AZ :) LOVE YOU!!!! xoxoxox

Kara said...

It is hard to see someone you love so much in this kind of unique pain. God gave you and Matthew the great & pure desire to have children, and I KNOW that He does have a purpose behind the stuff that we don't understand or grasp. Know that we are praying for you, Matthew, and all of your future children. Even though your journey can seem lonely and separating at times, please remember that you are not alone! We are right there in the pain with you- praying and crying out on your behalf. We love yall!