The Future Without Him

It is so often the little things that catch me off guard and are so hard. The other day I was sending out a group email to let people know that I was changing my email address since I just graduated. I just clicked and added everyone from my address book. An email came back to me saying the address was no longer valid...it was Tyler's address. Knowing that he will never be around to check his email again is so hard. He will never be around to leave the spoon in the peanut butter. He will never be around to wear those rediculous white shoes that are so worn out or those boots that he "worked in" by taking a knife to them and scuffing them up. He won't be around to make us all laugh or to flash that half smile or to laugh so hard he can hardly breath. He won't be around to play football in the yard on Thanksgiving or to help put up all the Christmas decorations. He won't be around to talk about the Spurs with me and to be so excited when they do good in the playoffs. He won't be around to be Landon's best friend. He won't be around to go to Africa with us. And he won't be around to start a ranch with Zach, Landon and Ben. He won't be around......and it is so hard. As I have said before, I do trust God to continue to provide comfort and strength for all of us, but I know that just because we are comforted that Ty is in a better place and we have the strength to continue to breath doesn't mean that we won't be sad and long to see him again.