Celebrating 26 Years

Matt really likes strawberry rhubarb pie! So, Mama and I made him one for his birthday. I forgot to take a pictures post cooking it...but it was delicious. Last year I wanted to make him one of these for his birthday, but I could not find ANY rhubarb at ANY stores here in Eagle River or Anchorage. Thus, I didn't get to make him one last year. Thankfully this year my friend Emily gave me a lot of fresh rhubarb this summer and I froze a lot of it to use all winter.

We also went to eat at Glacier Brew House for Matthew's birthday.

Hailey helped Matt blow out his one birthday candle :)

We then took a walk down at Earthquake park while we waited for Chris and Heather's flight to get in.

 The first picture everyone was a little too sullen...so I had to help them out and make them laugh! :)

I love the colors of fall! Fall here in Alaska tends to be rather short. The leaves change very quickly and then fall not long after they change. But I love every second of the beautiful colors. I love the crispness of the air. The smells of fall. The need for fires in the fire place. Wearing sweatshirts and hats. Love it.

My parents are in town and my sister and brother-in-law get in town tonight! 

So, I will post pictures of our their trip next week!

Happy Birthday, Matthew!

It is amazing to me how quickly time goes by! I have gotten to celebrate 4 birthday's with Matthew already. What a blessing he is in my life. This year has had its ups and downs, but God has brought us through them all and is teaching us to rely on Him more.

We didn't do too much for Matt's birthday yet because he is working nights right now and then had appointments all day. But, this weekend we are going to go to Seward, AK with my parents and my sister and brother-in-law. We are going to go on a sea life cruise and stay in a chalet down there for the weekend! Tomorrow night we are going to go eat at Glacier Brew House to celebrate as well! 

Happy Birthday, Matthew! I love being your wife and I love sharing this life with you!

Faith Like a Child

Back in July when Matt and I found out we were pregnant, we video chatted with our friends Ryan, Jen and their daughter, Hailey. We told them that we were pregnant. To explain it to Hailey, Jen told her that I had a baby in my tummy. Today Jen told me that the other day Hailey asked her about the baby in my tummy (Hailey is 2 years old, I cannot believe she even remembered!!). Jen told her that I did not have a baby in my tummy anymore, and Hailey said, "but on the phone Aunt Jo Jo had a baby in her tummy".... Jen was trying to explain to Hailey that we lost the baby. And Hailey asked if Uncle Matt took the baby :) Jen then told her that the baby was in heaven with God. And Hailey immediately asked if Jesus was holding the baby. Jen told her that He absolutely was. I was so thankful that Jen shared this story with me. It was so sweet and I just wanted to share. I also hope that Tyler is holding Matthew and my two sweet babies there in heaven.

"Yes, and I will continue to rejoice, for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I will eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death." -Philippians 1:18a-20 

Weekend Hunt

 

 We got up at 3:15am to head out for the hunting trip. We met up with Andy and Nic (two guys that Matthew works with) and drove about 3 hours north to Eureka. We got to see this gorgeous sun rise on the way. Although, I slept most of the way because I got home from work around 1:00am....so I'd only had a couple of hours of sleep :)

Once we got off the main road the guys would stop every mile or so and look for moose/caribou.

I, however, stayed in the jeep mostly because I was freezing!! I was inside my sleeping back in the jeep most of the morning because the heater in the jeep wasn't working that great.

At this point we had driven about 15-16 miles back into the tundra....and Matt's jeep got stuck. Andy and Nic were both on 4-wheelers and attempted to pull him out with no success. We then spent about two hours using Matt's jack to jack the jeep up and gathered branches and brush to put underneath the tires to try to get the jeep out of the deep mud a bit.

The jeep almost tipped over a couple of times while jacking it up because it was so off balance because the right tires were buried so deep! But we did finally get it out after about 2.5 hours of work.

The first morning we awoke to frost everywhere! It was rather cold that first night!

Just a little Alaskan traffic jam....

We ate lots of Mountain House meals. Yummmmm :)

Getting the caribou ready to transport it out of wilderness into our freezers :) We were about 40 miles back in the tundra at this point.

All in all it was a great trip. Matt and I had a blast hanging out and we are very excited to eat some caribou meat. I will definitely go hunting with Matt again if I get the chance!

God is about God

I was listening to a podcast a couple of weeks ago. The podcast was all about that fact that I am not the point in this universe. I have to remember that God is the point. God is about God. God has redeemed me which frees me up be about God.When I am the point, I am easily angered and bothered by others and get frustrated when things don't go my way. When I pretend to be stronger than I am, I am giving Satan a foothold that he will take advantage of. I want you to know that I am weak. That I am not doing this. I am not the one that is supplying the joy and am not the one that helps me to keep on hoping....but that it is only God working in me. The entire purpose of me being here on this earth is for the glory of God. And if His glory is made complete by my suffering, than I will find joy in suffering. In a previous post I was talking about God granting me "the desires of my heart"....well, although Matthew and I do long to have children....more than that, we long to be made more like Christ and we long to bring glory to God. My prayer is that God will use me for his glory by giving me a joy and a hope that is seen in me by those around me. And, that He will continue to reveal more of himself to me that I might rejoice in the fact that he is enough for me even in these trials. I was created for HIS glory. So, although I falter every day and although I want to cry out in anger many days.....I am reminded:

"Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted....Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they will be filled." ~Matthew 5:3-6

"...whom I created for my glory, whom I formed and made" -Isaiah 43:7

Landon, Whitney and Peyton Jo

Landon, Whitney and Peyton came to visit for 8 days! We had such a great time with them. We are so blessed that so many of our family members have been able to come up to visit us (and some of them even twice) since we've lived here. I absolutely loved getting to be Peyton's only aunt around (so that I could monopolize all her time), and it is always so wonderful to hang out with Landon and Whitney. Since Matthew and I moved up here the day after we got married, it is always fun to hang out with family and get to know each other better as couples.

Like the title of the blog...Finding Hope...

After miscarrying baby #2 things seem so odd. I don't know how to remain hopeful and trust that God will answer our prayers and provide the desires of our heart, and still remain realistic and realize that it may not be in God's plan for Matthew and I to have our own children. How do I remain hopeful, but not wear myself out with hope and then heartbreak over and over again? I do not know that answer to this question right now. All I know is that right now I have to keep on hoping even though there is a huge part of me that is fearful. I know that fear in not of God, and I pray that God will help me to trust Him and to know that he will provide all that I need even if he does not provide a healthy pregnancy for Matthew and me.

Here is the adorable little hat that Mama bought  for little baby Cornett (before we miscarried of course):

Thank you, Mama! 
We absolutely love it and cannot wait for a little Cornett to wear it one day!

"I will exalt you, my God the King; I will praise your name for ever and ever. Every day I will praise you and extol your name. Great is the Lord and most worthy of praise; his greatness no one can fathom...I will meditate on your wonderful works. They will tell of the power of your awesome works, and I will proclaim your great deeds....the Lord is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and rich in love. The Lord is good to all; he has compassion on all he has made...the Lord is faithful to all his promises and loving toward all he has made. The Lord is near to all who call on him, to all who call on him in truth. He fulfills the desires of those who fear him; he hears their cry and saves them. The Lord watches over all who love him....my mouth will speak in praise of the Lord. Let every creature praise his holy name for ever and ever." -Psalm 145